God's calling ME to missions??

I have had a true relationship with Christ since the summer of 2007. I can honestly tell you that from then up until...well a few weeks ago I have been TERRIFIED of verbal witnessing. The thought of it got my heart racing, caused my face to go all red, and I inevitably began popping my fingers.

But there was no denying that my heart did flip in my chest whenever I heard certain missionary recounts. Specifically those stories coming from missionaries devoted to China. Don't ask me "Why China?". Because I can tell you, I have not even the beginning to an idea as to why that is. All I know is every time missions based in China are mentioned, all of my heart and mind listens intently. I feel a, (for lack of a better word) a pull to China. Or just Asia in general. And I have to assume it can only be God given.

But I kept stubbornly telling myself that it must be a coincidence.
God didn't wire me for missions! There are better people out there to spread Jesus' gospel. Bold people, outgoing people who can go up to anyone and make great conversation. Someone who's always patient and understanding and all you can see in them is the person of Christ.

I, on the other hand, am the farthest from BOLD that you can get. I am content to sit by myself and observe when I am in a room of all new people. It takes at least 4 or 5 conversations with me before I'm close to being myself. I often forget to try to be understanding and I'm still daily working on the "reflecting Christ" part. He CAN'T call me.

Not surprisingly I'm wrong, and apparently HE CAN! For the first time in my life, I desire to learn how to help spread His saving Gospel. I yearn to get to comfort people in countries where they suffer for their relationship with Christ. To work with orphans who have never had the chance to discover they have a heavenly Father who loves them. To be able to see a light in people's eyes when they hear someone has already saved them from a life filled with addiction, greed and brokenness.
I've been discovering how conceded I've been. Selfishly putting my everyday comfort above the ETERNAL SALVATION of the people around me.

The more I pray that His will be revealed, the more I long to be immersed in His mission.
My most encouraging revelation lately:
"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. Therefore do not be ashamed of the testimony of our Lord, nor of me His prisoner, but share with me in the sufferings for the gospel according to the power of God, who has saved us and called us with a holy calling, not according to our works, but according to His own purpose and grace which was given to us in Christ Jesus before time began," 2 Timothy 1:7-9
It's not of my own power that I share His gospel, it's of the power of God. The power of His spirit that lives in me. He's given us a Holy Calling, but he didn't leave us to face this daunting task alone, He gave us a Spirit of Power, Love, and Sound Mind to help us through every trial and temptation. He's surrounding and guiding me everyday.

My Father will never cease to amaze me.