Becoming an Adult

18!!!
Apparently it's a big age. At least that's what I took away from my sister telling me every other day how "weird" it is for her to think about that her big sister is going to officially be an adult.
Can't say I feel any older....or at least I didn't till September turned out to be a month of reflection. All these things that seem like yesterday are becoming freakingly vivid in my mind. And it's kind of weird when I realize they are 5+ years back already. Of mistakes I've made, or falling away from Christ and being lovingly drawn back. Times of silliness and laughter and of sadness and loss. It's shown me that senior year is NOT going to be what I expected it to be. And life is not how I had it planned out. Of course doesn't life generally pan out that way when you think about it?

One of the big things I've been thinking on: When I was...well actually several times through middle school, I was told by adults in my life that there was a very SLIM possibility that I would keep the friends I had through middle/high school. I smiled politely as they said it, but the minute my back was turned I scoffed to myself. Ridiculous! I mean parents don't know what they're talking about right?
....Yeeeaaaah. Truth is, people grow up. As they grow up, they change, they mature (some more than others I'm sure). They grow at different speeds and in different ways. And also in middle school, it doesn't really matter THAT much if you have differing personalities. You're friends because you always have been! But as you grow older and your personalities grow more and more different, it becomes so much harder to stay friends when nothing about yourselves match up. People I was best friends with now feel I don't fit in their life. We grew apart. I think about them often and pray that they are happy and drawing close to God. They will always have a special place in my heart and there are many memories I will never be able to forget. And I still miss them dearly. I guess parents know some stuff after all.

Another thing. When I was younger, what I liked and how I acted depended heavily upon my friends. The music and movies I liked. How I approached others and how I responded to others. The clothes I thought were cute. Where I wanted to be or what I wanted to do. But the older I get, the more of myself I discover. I realize that sounds rather lame and I usually laugh at those commercials for movies that speak of "finding yourself". But in a way, it's true. I've learned not to rely on others likes or opinions to form my own. God gave me a brain for a reason. Plus how boring would it be to be like everyone else? I mean sure, it's likely that someone, someday is going to find me....odd or different. But if they have a problem with me while I'm striving to be the person God wants me to be, then I personally don't feel like caring if they like me. I hope that doesn't sound too mean ha.

I've also come to be more thankful for the family I've been blessed with and the friends I have in my life who care about me. People that genuinely love me...even when I'm being odd ;). They are a true blessing and comfort to me, and I hope every one of them knows how special they are in my life. For I fear I have not done a good enough job displaying that.

So anyway! I am thankful to God for my life and for revealing himself to me! There's no greater treasure than that of the Love of the Father. And I pray that I will learn more about Him everyday of my soon-to-be-adult life. And I'm extremely exited for the year ahead.